Of Advent & Weddings

Not long ago I attended a beautiful wedding. There were obvious hours of preparation and planning. No detail was overlooked. There was a, “I can’t wait” feeling in the air. In the midst of all the hustle and bustle, the engaged couple had time for “marriage prep,” to reflect, ask questions and to explore all areas of their relationship, even the uncomfortable. Then, before they could they breathe, the waiting was done, and it was time to ask God into their lives through their spoken covenantal vows. They were changed — the two became one. There were tears, even from dad, and then a celebration to witness love in action. And before we knew it, it was over. Someone remarked, “It’s like Christmas, so much preparation and then it’s over.”

Yes, so much preparation, too often of the external variety, and not of the internal substance. We might ask the couple in three or four years if the wedding preparation indeed prepared them for marriage–a life together. Did they spend too much time and money on the decorations and not enough focus on preparing themselves to be a gift for each other? In our preparation for Christmas, how much time and money is spent on decorations and presents rather than preparation to receive Jesus the King in our hearts, minds and lives? I think the “It’s over before we knew it” feeling is the result of focusing so much time on decorating the box that we forget our gift is the Word made Flesh.

Advent is a spiritual season that requires the virtue of detachment. Detachment from the culture is especially hard during Advent. The expectations of family traditions, Christmas shopping, and the idea of a “Hallmark Holiday” are just some of the self-imposed roadblocks that distract us from transforming our hearts into the manger to receive Jesus. I have to detach so that I can embrace. I have to decrease so that Christ can increase.