Ode to Tracy

Her name is Tracy. After 56 trips around the sun, cancer released her soul from her body. At her funeral on Saturday, her husband Jimmy quoted Tracy’s favorite saint, St. Therese of Lisieux, “I’m not dying, I’m entering life.” Tracy not only believed this as a matter of faith, but she also lived her life with hope and light. As grief filled family and friends gathered, her presence was palpable. You see, Tracy had the courage, along with Jimmy, to plan her funeral. All her personal traits: compassion, understanding, prayerfulness, meekness, and even elegance, permeated her funeral. A beautiful witness to the love of Christ.

Many people teach us during their life by either example or instruction. Few people teach us how to die. I don’t know how I could approach death without having a relationship with Jesus, without knowing the risen Christ. Being prone to anxiety, without faith, I would need to be heavily medicated to face my death, or perhaps even deny my decline to escape the fear of ceasing to be.

Knowing in my head is different than knowing in my heart. I can think and reflect on the quote, “I’m not dying, I’m entering life,” and fully agree and understand this transition of the dying process. Yet in my heart I have moments of doubt – “Lord I believe, help my unbelief.” I believe I am not alone in this thought process. Maybe the tension of knowing and believing accounts for how many people actively avoid the death conversation. Too many of us have no will, trust, or healthcare directive in place. Fewer still have planned their funeral. I have done the estate planning, but I have not done any funeral planning. Oddly enough, the one event that is as sure as taxes is the one I have avoided. Planning my funeral is an act of faith and stewardship. It is a gift to my family and an example, just like Tracy, to know and believe that I’m not dying, I’m entering life.

I must confess that I have both organized and participated in church workshops where the topic is “Planning Ahead.” The workshop design is a panel discussion. A funeral home director and a pastor talk about pre-planning a funeral from the respective technical and spiritual perspectives. An attorney addresses the legal documents: wills and healthcare directives. And I speak about leaving a legacy, bequests and other gift arrangements. I have done the legal work – it is time to pre-plan my funeral. I need to follow Tracy’s example. After all, Jesus conquered death so that I could enter life.