Finding Myself

It is common for young people to go through a period of exploration, even rebellion. We say they must “find themselves.” My Mom used to call this period of life “crossing over jackass bridge.” You might not be surprised that I spent some time on that bridge, stopping to fish once or twice. Fortunately, most of us make it to the other side knowing who we are and where we came from.

This knowing is not completed with the arrival to adulthood because “finding” yourself is a life-long exercise. It proceeds with each step toward God, which is really an inward journey. Likewise, each step away from God is a step toward darkness. For God is light, and when I allow God to shine in my darkness, I can see more of myself. Curious, isn’t it, that when we are young it is accepted and encouraged to journey away from the nest to find ourselves. There is some wisdom there; the time away is like time in the desert. Struggles and temptation await us. Perhaps we need to arm our young people with virtue and prepare a way for them in the wilderness. I think the Christian camping experience allows youth both the environment and space to begin the ‘finding” yourself journey. Sadly, too many young people lose themselves instead of finding their true self. The road back can be very difficult because in losing ourselves we grow apart from God, leaving a hole in our soul. And that empty space is too often filled with addiction and low self-esteem. For adults, especially for those who have drifted away from God, attending a Walk to Emmaus or Cursillo weekend can provide a bridge back to a relationship with Christ, and with it, a healing of the soul.

At Christmas Jesus comes as light, showing us the way back to God and to our real self. The shepherds and wise men were drawn to the manger seeking a Savior and a King, the light of the world. Having found Jesus, and adoring him, I wonder if they found themselves in that moment? The brightness of divinity illuminating and clarifying who they were and whose they were. For me, and for what now seems obvious, is that finding ourselves is a relationship with Christ through the Holy Spirit. May the light of Christ shine brightly in you this Christmas.